What Am I Thinking About Now?: Reading, Writing, and The Threat of the Machine Logos

I could give an excuser why I haven’t blogged, but I’m not going to. I just didn’t, maybe my blogging abilities have run dry. I have no real desire to blog and this one may be cut off short because of the way the keyboard is working. You have no idea how many spelling mistakes I’ve made an I know how to freakin type.

A good reason why I haven’t been working on my novel. It’s at a bit of a dry spot at the moment as I have lost some of my fire. Let that be a lesson to you kids, when your working on a scene get it done as soon as possible or you’ll get board. I’ve also tried writing poetry, but at the moment all my poetry seems to be about visions of the apocalypse, which probably says more about my own angsiaties then the Mayan Calander.  Not to say that my novel is all happy fun-times. What started out as a book to bang out my frustrations against the Bush administration has turned into a meditation on the nature of faith in a world that seems to be ruled by evil forces. What is the purpose of God in the world? Why do bad things happen to good people? That sort of thing. As far as my mental health goes, this is not helping. Last night I was up till the wee hours reading “The Devil’s Delusion: Atheism and its scientific pretensions,” by David Berlinski, mostly so I could get over the anxiety that is the entire debate. This whole Science+Atheism+Materialism freaks the hell out of me, and the fact that the one guy who knows the most about science is a transhumanist and believes we will be uploaded into machine clouds to live eternally is kind of scary. I find it kind of disturbing why someone would want to do that, it’s to close to playing God for me. There’s also this whole aspect that he’s trying to control human thought, or at least get it so set up that someone else will be controlling my thoughts and I do not feel comfortable having thought police institutionalized. If the human brain is like a computer, like my transhumanist friend says, then it can be reprogrammed like a computer and be put to other uses. As computers do not seem to have independent consciousness, this is not a problem for them, but humans do have an independent consciousness. We can compute independently from outside forces, and by compute I mean imagine, do science and all that. I have difficulty getting this past my transhumanist friend, because I am a writer with a huge influence from William Blake and Alan Moore, I believe the world of the mind has legitimacy of it’s own. I’m sure my transhumanist friend is right and the natural world has it’s own beauty, but there is to much thought on conquering that beauty. From what I can see, science is just as easily used to destroy as it is to create. I can appreciate the natural world without knowing how the whole thing works, and I can appreciate it more without all the money-grubbing bastards drilling up oil only to have it splurt everywhere, or have entire mountains strip-mined. And further more, imagination is just as beautiful as the material world and so far not as ruined by the capitalists and the atheists, though I’m pretty sure these new atheists have no respect for that either. If they have no respect for God then they probably have no respect for the creative process, it’s fruits (especially in our western civilization, where it is all but impossible to truely move away from the Bible as an imaginative source of inspiration. See Dostoevsky, Melville, Ginsberg, compare “Joe Hill” with the story of Christ, and a bunch of other stuff.

Anyways, back to writing. I was worried about becoming known as a science fiction writer. As far as that goes, I think there is supposed to be at least some interest in science and as far as that goes I’m only interested in that as a way of trying to figure out how it can harm us. I do have ideas for science fiction, and I’ll be damned if I’m known totally as a writer of realist or naturalist fiction (though the idea is slightly appealing). I’m just ticked off at science for the most part, mainly since I see scientists as the self-righteous control freaks such as the Catholic Church. They want to stick themselves up as the only way to explain everything. I’m interested in consciousness though, mostly since I don’t understand it and am hoping that it is untouchable by these freaks. Anyways, my point is I don’t want to be known as a science fiction writer, so much as someone who writes something like science fiction. This may not be problem, as science fiction is becoming slightly more accepted in the field of literature, and the fact I’m also trying to become a poet I’m probably going to have that to stand on. Anyways, these worries are probably unfounded and I should get back to working on my novel.

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Why I Believe in an Abrahamic God?

Someone named Emily asked me why I believe in an Abrahamic God. Since I need to post more and this is a pretty good question. I am therefore going to try and answer that.

The easiest question is that I was raised in a Christian family, and that my idea of what God is comes from a Christian concept. That is however, not really what I believe. To be honest, I’m not very comfortable calling myself a Christian. It’s not that I have an overall negative experience of Christianity, I’d call my relationship to my birth-religion very good. The problem is that I cannot reconcile my soul to the idea of Christ as Savior. I can say I believe in God, to an extent I even believe in Christian concepts of sin, but I can’t get my mind around the idea that Jesus Christ died for my sins. I am on my way to working all this out in my head, but there is still the details were I am not a normal Christian.

My concept of God is probably one of these, although with the rise of feminism I might not be that off. To put it simply, I think it’s insulting to the idea of God to just refer to God in the masculine. That is why I believe that God has both masculine and feminine aspects in the highest form we can perceive God as without God turning into Cosmic Nothingness. This is a theory I picked up from Hinduism, that believes the highest form of God is androgynous. However, this is not entirely outside the area of the Abrahamic Religions. Kaballah supposes that God has both male and female aspects, though admittedly the early Kabbalists had a negative view of that feminine side.

I also believe that when you get right down to it, the One God is alot more complex then most people give It credit for. There is kind of an unfortunate sterotype that God is an old bearded man who sits on a cloud fashioning plans for wombats. This strikes me as a rather limited view of a being that created the Universe. To explain this I am taking a rather neoplatonic view of divinity. According to Neoplatonism, all life emenates from God, which at it’s highest point is beyond our understanding. This thing we call the Monad, or the One, or the Ayin(the Kabbalists call it that, it’s Hebrew for Nothingness). The Monad emanates down into lower forms, which make up lesser divine beings and eventually the material world. Kaballah is handy for this, because it gives a system to how this works, which probably has it’s own inaccuracies given the subject matter, but humans like maps, so there.

The ultimate problem in believing in the Abrahamic God is the level of Hugeness that the Abrahamic God encompasses. You are basically dealing with a being that is beyond our comprehension. To call this God a being seems to be limiting it. This is something I have in common with Islam, which is probably one of the most monotheistic religions in the world. They don’t even allow pictorial art because it might lead to idolatry. I’m fine with icons however, and believe that there is a bit of Godstuff in all of us, but I understand the point. If we think to much on an image, we begin to be stuck by it and put to much thought into it. That said, since the God that exists out there is so beyond our comprehension, then it is comfortable to have an intercessor of some kind, a bit of God that is not the Ayin. In Genesis, this is solved by having a God that can get down in the dirt (Genesis 2). In Christianity, we have an even more forward step were God becomes human.

Anyways, these are the thoughts I had on this. More thoughts on God will follow.